Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
