Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
