ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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