Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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