I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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