I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My nipple is on Facebook.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
