covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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