I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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