ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
