when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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