Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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