It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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