3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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