Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
There r osticjed everywhere
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
