you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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