i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
