she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I smell stomach acid.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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