On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
