she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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