so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize