More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize