you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize