I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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