Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize