But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
