Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
