It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You may now shotgun with the bride
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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