well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
