well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize