Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
