She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
