the new term for farting is butt boxing.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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