3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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