The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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