I just pynch a tree in the face
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
