I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
