I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
