Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
