he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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