They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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