Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
