3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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