Can i not drive my cunt home
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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