he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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