You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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