I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Oh god it's open bar.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
