I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
