sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
