I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
