I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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