i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
