don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I checked into jail on foursquare
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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