remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize