No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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