I wanna passion pit in your ass
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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