How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
