Tell her she can't have a vagina
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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