i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
