Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize