I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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