i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I smell like Dick and happiness
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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