Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
